• Veritas Prep
    Free Veritas GMAT Class
    Experience Lesson 1 Live Free

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Veritas Prep
  • Varsity Tutors
    Award-winning private GMAT tutoring
    Register now and save up to $200

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Varsity Tutors
  • e-gmat Exclusive Offer
    Get 300+ Practice Questions
    25 Video lessons and 6 Webinars for FREE

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    e-gmat Exclusive Offer
  • Kaplan Test Prep
    Free Practice Test & Review
    How would you score if you took the GMAT

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Kaplan Test Prep
  • EMPOWERgmat Slider
    1 Hour Free
    BEAT THE GMAT EXCLUSIVE

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    EMPOWERgmat Slider
  • Target Test Prep
    5-Day Free Trial
    5-day free, full-access trial TTP Quant

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Target Test Prep
  • Economist Test Prep
    Free Trial & Practice Exam
    BEAT THE GMAT EXCLUSIVE

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Economist Test Prep
  • Magoosh
    Magoosh
    Study with Magoosh GMAT prep

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    Magoosh
  • PrepScholar GMAT
    5 Day FREE Trial
    Study Smarter, Not Harder

    Available with Beat the GMAT members only code

    MORE DETAILS
    PrepScholar GMAT

Would you like to review my AWA Essay? Thank you!!!

This topic has 1 member reply

How would you score this essay?

1
 
0% (0 votes)
2
 
0% (0 votes)
3
 
0% (0 votes)
4
 
0% (0 votes)
5
 
0% (0 votes)
6
 
0% (0 votes)
Christian Krause Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
Joined
11 Aug 2016
Posted:
4 messages
Thanked:
2 times

Would you like to review my AWA Essay? Thank you!!!

Post Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:39 am
Elapsed Time: 00:00
  • Lap #[LAPCOUNT] ([LAPTIME])
    This AWA prompt is from the official GMAT Prep Test Sotware, Exam #1:

    The following appeared as part of an article in the business section of a local newspaper:
    "Motorcycle X has been manufactured in the United States for over 70 years. Although one foreign company has copied the motorcycle and is selling it for less, the company has failed to attract motorcycle X customers - some say because its product lacks the exceptionally loud noise made by motorcycle X. But there must be some other explanation. After all, foreign cars tend to be quieter than similar American-made cars, but sell at least as well. Also, television advertisements for motorcycle X highlight its durability and sleek lines, not its noisiness, and the ads typically have voice.over or rock music rather than engine-roar on the sound track."


    Here is my AWA Essay to evaluate the argument:

    ]In the argument, the authors tries to falsify the claim of some people that the success of motorcycle X, as opposed to copies from foreign manufacturers, is due to its exceptionally loud engine sound. The argument is flawed since the author draws his conclusion based on an inaccurate analogy as well as a seemingly wrong cause-and effect relationship.
    First, the author picks the example of American-made and foreign cars and assumes that the same must be correct for U.S. and foreign motorcycles. However, this analogy is not proven by any means. There may be a lot of differences between the supply and demand or the customer behavior between these two different goods. Whatever may be true for cars does not necessarily have to be true for motorcycles.
    Second, the author uses an inaccurate cause-and-effect relationship. He or she describes that the engine sound, as one feature of the motorcycle, is not highlighted in TV commercials and therefore cannot be demanded by customers. This appears to be incorrect. Whatever is highlighted in TV ads does not actually have to be what customers are looking for. Perhaps customer are looking for something that marketers have yet failed to recognize or address. In this argument, the content of commercials is described to completely match consumer needs, which is somewhat of an unjustified assumption. In addition, the fact that music and voice-overs play a major role in those ads does not necessarily put less value on the engine sound of the motorcycle.
    In order to strengthen the argument, the author should consider providing more information about the similarity between the markets of cars and motorcycles in the U.S. and foreign countries. Moreover, the author should attempt to find stronger evidence besides TV commercials. For example, he or she could examine the actual needs of consumers in terms of what features of a motorcycle are most appreciated. It could also be useful to have a look on other U.S. motorcycle brands to determine what their success is based on.[/i]


    Thank you very much for reading! Any feedback, critique or improvement suggestions are highly appreciated!!!

    Need free GMAT or MBA advice from an expert? Register for Beat The GMAT now and post your question in these forums!
    na94 Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
    Joined
    06 Oct 2016
    Posted:
    2 messages
    Thanked:
    1 times
    Post Thu Oct 06, 2016 4:03 am
    I think it has all the information needed. your analogy is top-notch. your ideas are clearly stated.
    i think the only thing missing is a conclusion. bravo!

    Thanked by: Christian Krause

    Best Conversation Starters

    1 lheiannie07 116 topics
    2 LUANDATO 62 topics
    3 swerve 62 topics
    4 ardz24 61 topics
    5 AAPL 58 topics
    See More Top Beat The GMAT Members...

    Most Active Experts

    1 image description Brent@GMATPrepNow

    GMAT Prep Now Teacher

    172 posts
    2 image description Scott@TargetTestPrep

    Target Test Prep

    154 posts
    3 image description Rich.C@EMPOWERgma...

    EMPOWERgmat

    131 posts
    4 image description EconomistGMATTutor

    The Economist GMAT Tutor

    127 posts
    5 image description GMATGuruNY

    The Princeton Review Teacher

    125 posts
    See More Top Beat The GMAT Experts