Please review this AWA for me.

[singalong]

Took a MGMAT test yesterday. Would like you guys to review it and give me tips to develop. Dont know how points much these two essays would fetch me.

AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Argument
ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in a proposal for a high school's annual fundraising event:

"In order to earn the most money for supplemental school programs, we will have larger and more thrilling rides at this year's School Fair, including a ferris wheel that is twice as tall as last year's ferris wheel. In addition, the game vendors will award more expensive prizes and the food stalls will showcase a variety of upscale international dishes. As a result, we will be able to charge a higher entrance fee and the dollar amount we earn via our commission on the vendors' revenues will be higher than it was last year."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The argument pertains to a situation where the School authorities are going to organize a fundraising event to collect more money for the supplemental programs at the school.
This argument is quite well reasoned since the Organizers have a sound idea about how much revenue that they generated at the event last year. The Organizers know how much each ride cost them, how much money was made at the game vendors stall and how much the food cost. This is quite important since they have enough information on the things that they could do to raise money at the event for the present year.
The ferris wheel is planned to be twice the size it was last year. This amounts to more fun, hence more people are going to take rides which only means more money. It's planned that the game vendors would give out more expensive prizes for each person who wins the game.People are lured by the notion of winning expensive prizes and hence more people are bound to participate. The food stalls are also planned to dish out international delicacies for the people at the fundraising event.
The school can make collect a lot of money by increasing the entrance fee compared to the charge last year.. This, effectively, would result in more funds for the supplemental programs.

The argument makes a lot of assumptions about the fundraising event.
Firstly, Increasing the size of the fer4ris might not necessarily mean that it's more fun. While last year's ferris wheel could have been fine by the children, bigger ferris wheel(twice t6he size last year) could scare the children and most may not go for it at all. Safety management for such a big ferris wheel is not discussed at all. The parents might not be comfortable sending their kids for rides in a big ferris wheel.Not to mention a lot of people might not be able to afford the charges for ferris at this year's event.
Secondly, more expensive prizes may not mean a bigger crowd. May be the games organized by the vendors lat year were tough. And this year more expensive prizes may not attract more people because of the difficulty of the games.
Thirdly, the food served at the food stalls may not attract as many people as they did last year. If the people attending event are not big fans of the cuisine serves at the event, they may not eat it. So, this puts the assumption of having international cuisine at the event into doubt.

Lastly, it is assumed by the school authorities that increasing the price of the entrance fee would fetch them more funds and that commission on the vendor's revenue would be higher. This reasoning is flawed since people might not attend the event because they wouldn't be able to afford the entrance fee or that they might not feel the charges are not comparable to the entertainment planned at the Fundraising event.
More so, the vendors may not agree to the increased commission this year which effectively decreases the chances of collecting a high amount of money for the fundraiser.

The argument could have been more sound if it was mentioned that the people who possibly are expected at the fundraising event are financially capable of affording the charges at the event.It could also strengthen to know that people attending the event have an appetite for international dishes or that they are quite good at the games organized at the event which eventually would mean they would win those games.




AWA ESSAYS: Analyze Issues
ESSAY QUESTION:
"Despite the convenience of distance learning and online educational programs, they will never replace in-class instruction."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the position stated above. Support your viewpoint using reasons and examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The issue pertains to the comparison in education offered by the distance learning and online educational programs and the education given at the in-class programs. The issue states that the convenience provided by the distance learning and online educational programs do not compare in value and quality that is provided by the in-class instructions.
I completely agree with the statement made above that convenience of distance learning and online educational programs will not replace the in-class instructions.

The quality provided by the in-class instructions is unparallelled. The classroom instructions have a lecturer who in person teaches the class which usually consists of more than say 10 people. This becomes very important as usually the educational quality of a class increases with constant discussion and argument which pulls all the students into interaction.The students are more active in a live in-person classroom as the classes are more interactive.

Many teachers and lecturers who are well known for their work usually teach in-class in reputable colleges. The number of lectures that these teachers hold are higher in class generally.The teachers themselves prefer to know the students in person as the course proceeds which builds a personal relationship between them and the students. This becomes very important for the nurturing of the students abilities.

Statistics have shown that students prefer in-class as their concentration is more focused and hence their abilities to assimilate the education naturally increases.IN-class instructions let the students to ask questions to the teachers post classes too or may be even late hours that might not be possible with the online and distance learning programs.

Online educational programs and distance learning though convenient are hindered by the technology and distance naturally. In distance learning programs, the student has to turn to alternate resources to get his or her issues sorted out or get the questions answered. With online programs, the student might not be able to grasp the gravity of the situation or may not understand the answer because of the hindrance of the technology.A monitor is not the same as a live person.

Though online educational programs and distance learning programs might not be the same as the in-class instructions, the convenience could be really be the most important factor for a student who cannot afford an in-class instructional program. Moreover, technology is on the verge of makings things easier and an online or distance learning program may just serve the purpose of the student who is interested in such a program.