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This is my first analysis of argument essay, please grade it

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satishkhatri5 Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts Default Avatar
Joined
16 Dec 2007
Posted:
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This is my first analysis of argument essay, please grade it

Post Thu Dec 27, 2007 9:42 pm
Elapsed Time: 00:00
  • Lap #[LAPCOUNT] ([LAPTIME])
    Dear Friends,
    This is my first essay. Please evaluate it and tell me areas of improvement. I don't mind even if you give me 0 out of 6 .
    Thanks,
    Satish

    Argument

    The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen
    foods:
    "Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become
    more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day
    service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And
    since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to
    minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
    Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.

    Essay

    "The conclusion in the report sent to stakeholders that experiance will enable the company to minimize costs is not supported by sufficient evidence. There are no facts mentioned to support the conclusion.

    The report fails to mention statistics suggesting higher efficiency with more experiance. Specific information such as what was the efficiency and cost in the begining, what is the efficiency and cost now is missing. Without this information stakeholeders will not be able to compare the change in efficiency.

    Report mentioned example of photo prinitng, but it failed to relate this example to Olympic food processing. In case of photo printing, there can be more factors leading to cost reduction than years of experiance. It could be introduction of new technology or availability of cheap paper. Report applied the 'same principle' to both buisnesses, however it do not say which pricnciple. Also the price reduction in case of photo prinitng was in 14 years but what happened with price of Olympics foods 14 years of experiance is not mentioned. So it is not wise to draw conlcusion on the basis of photo printing example.


    Though organizations perform better with experiance but there are more than one factors that decide the cost and profit. Some such factors are labor cost, machinery cost, inflation rate etc. If maximization of profit with experiance is true for every buisness then there will never be losses and shutdowns. Thus the conclusion would have been convincing if supportted by some statistics."

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