GMAT Essays (AWA)

Dear friends, please give me some feedback on the below essay. I am new to this club and still exploring . Please provide your feedback on my essay below

Prompt:

The following appeared as part of an annual report sent to stockholders by Olympic Foods, a processor of frozen
foods:
"Over time, the costs of processing go down because as organizations learn how to do things better, they become
more efficient. In color film processing, for example, the cost of a 3-by-5-inch print fell from 50 cents for five-day
service in 1970 to 20 cents for one-day service in 1984. The same principle applies to the processing of food. And
since Olympic Foods will soon celebrate its 25th birthday, we can expect that our long experience will enable us to
minimize costs and thus maximize profits."
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc


My Essay:

The argument that long experience enables food processing industries to minimize costs and maximize profits omits several concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the argument. The argument presents a scheme of minimizing cost for a food processing industry only on the basis of a certain level of experience, which overlooks several other factors that demand attention.
First of all, the author compares the food processing business to color film processing which is flawed since the working methods of both the business vary significantly with respect to each other. The evidence of decrease in print price from 1970 to 1984 is vague and has been attributed only to the assumption that the industry learnt to do things better. The author has failed to look into important factors like technology advancement and workforce size which could have contributed to the decrease in color print price. Some insightful data on the strategies employed by the color film processing during the years and how they relate to the food processing industry could have been provided that would have helped to strengthen the authors argument
Further, the author assumption that since Olympic Foods will be completing 25 years, it would be able to minimize cost and maximize profits doesn't prove to be concrete. The author has not quantified that reducing cost by a certain amount will lead to a certain profit percentage. It may be possible that the costs may be reduced that much that the company is unable to gain any profit which undermines the author's claims. Further, the assumption that it would be able to minimize cost only because of completing 25 years sounds unreasonable.
Overall, the argument is weak in terms of reasoning and its correlation between color film processing and food processing industries. Hence, it would be unreasonable to agree to the author's claims on the basis of the information provided.


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