GMAT Essays (AWA)

The argument
Essay topics: The following was excerpted from the speech of a spokesperson for Synthetic Farm Products Inc.:

"Many farmers who invested in the equipment needed to make the switch from synthetic to organic fertilizers and pesticides feel that it would be too expensive to resume synthetic farming at this point. But studies of farmers who switched to organic farming last year indicate that their current crop yields are lower. Hence their purchase of organic farming equipment, a relatively minor investment compared to the losses that would result from continued lower crop yields, cannot justify persisting on an unwise course. And the choice to farm organically is financially unwise, given that it was motivated by environmental rather than economic concerns."
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Over the last several years, farmers have provided a growing number of choices for consumers to choose from at the supermarket. Among those choices are organic products. In the preceding argument, the spokesperson for Synthetic Farm Products Inc. makes the claim that organic farming results in "continued lower crop yields." While there is merit to the claim, the author presents a poorly reasoned argument, based on unsupported premises and assumptions, and, based solely on the presented claim, we cannot accept the argument as valid.

The primary issue with the author's argument is the utter lack of evidence that organic farming results in "continued" lower crop yields and moreover, an unwise economic decision. The spokesperson's continued use of vague terms leaves the reader searching for solid evidence to support the claim. Throughout the argument, the authors use of, "many farmers," "studies of farmers," "relatively minor," and "yields are lower" lend no concrete support to the claim that organic farming is an unwise economic decision. Further, the company has an opportunity to identify exactly how much was lost among the farmers that switched to organic farming. Yet, the author presents no dollar amount, product weight, or any measure of production results anywhere in the argument.

In addition to the lack of evidence presented, Synthetic Farm Products Inc. spokesperson makes several unverifiable assumptions in the claim. The author cites that farmer's current crop yields are lower among those who switched to organic farming. The author fails to back that claim with any indication that the study ruled out other factors affecting crop yield. The reader is left to assume that the only difference in last year's yields was the introduction of organic farming methods. A counter argument presented by a competing company could easily refute this assumption by identifying any number of external environmental factors that resulted in lower yields across the farming region.

To ensure that the intended audience of Synthetic Farm Products Inc. receives the claims appropriately, the spokesperson needs to strengthen his or her argument in the following ways. First, replace each vague statement with solid numbers presented with the date and source from which the data was collected. Second, identify specific dollar amount differences among farmers who switched to organic farming within the same product class. Lastly, remove any doubt that the lower yields are a result of anything else by identifying all other factors that impact yield as being equal.

In sum, the author's illogical argument is based on several unsupported premises and assumptions that render the claim to be invalid.
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Thank you for your time!

Nice.

I might have given it a 5.5 if that option had been available, but maybe it's good for a 6 anyway.

In no particular order here are some things that could have been better.

The concluding sentence is a little weak. What does it even mean really? The argument is illogical and invalid? Weak maybe, unsupported maybe, but illogical and invalid? Not really.

This needs at least an is or something. "that organic farming results in "continued" lower crop yields and moreover, an unwise economic decision."

With another comma and a few more words you would have something a little tighter.

"that organic farming results in "continued" lower crop yields and, moreover, that engaging it it is an unwise economic decision."

Not sure what this means. "by identifying all other factors that impact yield as being equal."

One can always do better, but this essay basically works for me.