GMAT Essays (AWA)

Hi ,

Please evaluate this AWA topic and let me know where I need to improve and what points should I consider while writing AWA.

"We believe that improved customer service is the best way for us to differentiate ourselves from competitors and attract new customers.We can offer our customers best service by reducing waiting time in teller lines from average of six minutes to three minutes .By opening for business at 8.30 instead 9.00 and by remaining open for an additional hour beyond our current closing time ,we will be better able to accommodate the busy schedules of our customers .These changes will enhance our bank's image as the most customer-friendly bank in the town and gives us the edge over our competition"



The argument that improved customer service will differentiate Mammon saving and loans banks from their competitors and attract new customers is not well reasoned . Just by reducing the waiting time and opening and closing half an hour more will not solve the problems which customers might be facing.Bank should consider below points to gain more business.

Bank should consider opening new branches or re-opening existing closed branches which were open when customers open their account with the bank, bank customers might be travelling alot to reach bank which annoys them and results in closing of bank account .

A well structured document containing all the necessary documents required for loan and pre-requisite formalities should be available on the bank web-site which help customers to come prepare and get their job done in one or two visits in bank. Otherwise ,customers have to come back and forth to bank to get the approval for loan.

Currently bank might have less helpline numbers or employees to answer to queries of customer on phone,Bank should open more helpline numbers and hire employees to help customers about the problems they might be facing ,which results in solving more customers problem over phone.

Bank should consider opening their branch during weekends or in weekends for extended hours which will help customers since most customers will work on weekdays and they didn't get time during weekdays.

Instead of customer coming to bank for his queries and getting loan ,bank can send it's representative to customers with all the necessary forms which are required this will help customer to save their time and their waiting time too in the bank queues.

Mannon bank should consider taking feedbacks from their customers regarding their service which help bank to improve and then bank can work on their problems.

Bank should consider all the above points along with the points stated in the memo to enhance their image as the most customer friendly bank in the town and gives them edge over their competitors.

Thanks in advance...

Regards,
Ishan