GMAT Essays (AWA)

The following was written as part of a study weighing the benefits of a new construction project in the city of winterville.
Car racing is extremely popular in the city of winterville: over 20000 winterville residents attended the state's annual 500 lap race last summer, and the highest rated television program in winterville is "Racetalk", which is broadcast every night. Also, many successful race car drivers live in winterville. Given the popularity of car racing in winterville, and a recent report indicating that the average race fan spends close to $500 per year attending car races, a new racetrack in winterville would be very profitable.



Car racing is designed for reducing accidents on the road because it quells the exessive desire for speeding. In the preceding statement, the author claims that a new race track in winterville would be very profitable. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents poorly reasoned argument that is based on several unsubstantiated premises and assumptions. Therefore, we cannot accept this argument as valid.

First, the primary issue of the argument lies in lacking evidentiary support. The author states that over 20000 winterville residents attended the state's annual 500 lap race last summer. The author doesn't inform us about the total population who live in winterville. Perhaps, 20000 amount to scant portion of the town's population. Therefore, we caannot conclude anything from this premise. Second, even if the 20000 people account for a large number of residents, there is another problem. What if last summer was only an abberation and the number of people of winterville who attend the annual 500 lap race is very low every year? If this is true, then we can understand that why the nearest racetrack is over 150 miles away from winterville.

In addition, the mere fact that the tv program is high rated is scant evidence in this argument. Perhaps there are other radio programs that are more popular than this program. Or perhaps the people who rated the program are not likely to also attend car racing or have penchant in driving. Without solid statistical evidence we can not conclude anything solid. Lacking statistical support as evidence, is obvious in another part of the argument. Actually, when the author talks about the report, it is unclear that it was a nation report that the author extrapolate the results to the winterville or not. Maybe the author thinks that the national report is applicable to the specific city as well. Here is another possibility. Maybe car racing is more popular among other cities, and after careful scrutiny then it is reasonable to invest in other cities.

Furtheremore, the annual income of the residents of winterville is unclear. It is possible that they are extremely wealthy but only spend $500 a year for car racing. Or perhaps the core interest of the residents are in fashion industry. So, they alotted huge portion of their annual income to fashion. Without more information about the way that winterville residents spend their money, and about their annual income, any conclusion is unvalid.

In sum, the argument suffers from many unsubstantiated premises and assumptions that render the conclusion unconvincing. Although the argument have flaws in reasoning, that is not to say that the entire argument is without base. The author could strengthen his argument by providing a reliable statostical sample that is representative of the overall population. The author could also solid his reasoning by avoiding vague terms. One of the vague terms that comes in the argument is "recent". We do not know that by "recent" the author means actually when. If the author spend more time on gathering statistical data, and avoid being hasty, then he could be more successful in his reasoning.

Hi Katharine,

thank you for reviewing my essay and your suggestions. I am curious about the score. If it was written in actual exam.

Thank you