GMAT Essays (AWA)

The following appeared in an article in a consumer-electronics magazine:

"Company X's latest model of digital camera to be released next month, the TR12, is being promoted as the most portable, user-friendly digital camera available, and also an excellent bargain. It can be expected to live up to these claims, because Company X's previous model, the TR11, was universally lauded as setting the standard in these areas last year."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.

The author's main argument is that Company X's latest model of digital camera to be released next month, the TR12, can be expected to live up to the claims such as the most portable, user friendly ,and an excellent bargain, because company's previous model, the TR 11, was universally lauded as setting the standard in these areas last year. The line of reasoning to predict future success only on the past trends is flawed. There are also other flaws and unsupported assumptions in the argument.

The main argument is that the newly coming model, the TR12, can be expected to live to claims the customers' mentioned demands, because the previous model, the TR11, was lauded. The prediction of future success only on the past trend or performance is not always valid, because there may be other factors that affect the acceptability or success of product. Perhaps, a new competition, which was not in the past, has emerged in the present; it is also offering smaller size portable and user friendly camera with greater number of features at competitive price. So, the market dynamics has changed from the past because of the new emergence of competition.

The other flawed assumption is that the customer preferences and market demands have remained unchanged. However, with time the new technological advancements have changed market demands as customers are now demanding more advanced other features in addition to portability and user friendliness. The customer' preferences have changed, and now customer is preferring other features such as dual lensed camera, the more zoom for wildlife expedition, and varied lens focus options over the earlier features such as portability or only price.

Finally, the author has not considered the possible change in company' promotional strategy for TR12. For instance, Company X is targeting more to youth including college students and young professionals than to older of family people, because this set of customer is growing in proportion in country's population. So, targeting more to youth customers may generate more profits and revenue than was the case in the past.

To conclude, this argument can be made logical if author considers other factors such as new technological advancements, changing market dynamics or customer preferences, and the change in company's strategy to maximise profits in future. These valid assumptions will strengthen the argument.

very disheartening that no reply

First, while I am pretty good at rating these essays I am not exactly a GMAT essay expert.

Having said that, I give it a 5. Here's my thinking.

The points are good.

The overall organization is good.

The language, use of connecting words, and details could be a little better.

For instance, in the final paragraph you said "These valid assumptions will strengthen the argument." Are the assumptions valid? What makes them valid? It's almost as if you used the word valid just to use it.

In this sentence, "So, the market dynamics has changed from the past because of the new emergence of competition." the subject, dynamics, which is plural, does not agree with the verb, has.

There are other sentence structure issues too.

So while overall this essay is fairly successful, I wish the wording and the logic of the structure of its sentences were a little tighter.