GMAT Essays (AWA)

shalin1483 wrote:Dear Expert,

Will really appreciate if you can rate and provide feedback on my AWA.


===========Question======================================================================
The following appeared in a memorandum from the ElectroWares company's marketing department.

"Since our company started manufacturing and marketing a deluxe light bulb six months ago, sales of our economy light bulb-and company profits-have decreased significantly. Although the deluxe light bulb sells for 50 percent more than the economy bulb, it lasts twice as long. Therefore, to increase repeat sales and maximize profits, we should discontinue the deluxe light bulb."

================My response ==============================================================
The memo from the ElectoWares marketing department claims that manufacturing and marketing of deluxe light bulb should be discontinued. To back their claim memo provides evidence that since company started manufacturing deluxe light bulb sales of economy light bulb and company profits have decreased significantly. Even though deluxe light bulb sells for 50 percent more than economy bulb it lasts twice as long leading fall in repeat sales. Hence in order to increase repeat sales and maximize profits company should discontinue the deluxe light bulb. State in this way argument fails to mention several key factors on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumption for which there is no clear evidence provided. Hence the argument is weak and unconvincing and has several flaws.
First the argument readily assumes that the only reason of the fall in sales of economy bulb is introduction of new deluxe light bulb. The statement is stretch as it readily ignores any other reasons for the fall in sales of economy light bulb for example poor economy, increased competition, poor customer satisfaction, seasonal variations etc. The argument could have been much better stated if the memo could have ruled out all of the other mentioned reasons for poor sales.
Second the argument provides no evidence how decline in sales of economy bulb lead to decrease in profits. It can happen that the decrease in profit could be causes by other reasons rather than decrease in sales of economy bulb for example increase in marketing cost for deluxe bulbs, increase in cost of production, poor marketing of deluxe bulbs etc. Without clearly understanding reasons behind decrease in profits and ruling out above mentioned reasons argument remains unconvincing.
Finally the argument assumes that only way to address the decrease in profit would be stop production of deluxe bulb. It has provided no evidence to rule out any other way in which profit can increase for example decrease cost of production for deluxe bulb, increasing sales of deluxe bulb, increase in price of deluxe bulb etc. Without convincing evidence of ruling out each of the alternative gives an impression that the claim is more of a wishful thinking rather than backed by substantive evidence.
In conclusion the argument is flawed for the above mentioned reasons and is therefore unconvincing. It could be considerably strengthened if the author clearly mentions all the relevant facts like ruling out any other cause for decrease in profit, clear linkage between decreasing sales and profit and ruling of out another way to increase profit. Without this information the argument remains unsubstantiated and open for debate.