Not satisfied with my Issue writing skills - PLEASE COMMENT

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"The presence of a competitor is always beneficial to a
company. Competition forces a company to change itself in
ways that improve its practices."


The topic is most relevant to today's age where competition is
the 'be all and end all of everything'. I strongly believe
that competition is always beneficial to a company. Most case
studies of successful businesses reflect an inherent
competition in their market space that has led them to improve
and be successful.

In order for an organization to grow and improve constant
motivation is a necessity. Companies view competition with its
competitor in a healthy manner and this motivates each
organization to deliver its best on all fronts. There are very
few - 'early bird'- organizations which have had a head start
from the rest in a particular market space - that have held
their reign to constantly improve and provide the best
products to its consumers. Its only when they are faced with
stiff competition that they think in a different direction to
provide their best to their consumers. A typical example of
this would be the competition between two software giants
namely Microsoft and Google. Microsoft was a early bird in the
software space and had most of the internet market share until
google stepped in the gears. Google has constantly upped the
ante to make Microsoft insecure of its hold on the market.
This competition has lead to a healthy change where each
organization has started to provide the best to its customers.

It can be argued that a company should not look at other
organizations as its competitors but should rather focus on
how to improve and grow by itself.Though this might sound
realistic one should note that even here the company is
competing with itslef in order to grow. An example of such an
organization that has grown by competing with itself on a
regular basis has been Apple computers. Apple was and are
still the leading players in the high end computer space that
provides users with the best graphical experience. It has
constantly competed with itself to devlier new product
experiences to its consumers, and today iPod and iTunes are
successful products from Apple.

Competition leads to organizations challenging themselves
constantly to perform better, to seek new avenues to improve
and thereby leaving no room for stagnation. Take the case of
organizations that were owned by governments, an example would
the the governmental organization before the Tatcherian
revolution in Britain. These organizations were not competing
with any other organization and thereby their performance and
productivity were abysmall, until they were privatised and
thereby space was created for organizations to competed with
one another to improve its practices.

One can say that competition is a necesssary evil, though it
might render a few business bankrupt it always leads to
organizations to constantly change itself and improve its
practices and processes. Thus a competition whether with
another organization or with itself is always beneficial to
its growth.

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by pahwa » Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:48 pm
Frankly speaking, I did not find anything wrong in your essay. The use of examples in each paragraph is impressive.

Why do you think something is lacking?

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by gmatrant » Thu Nov 08, 2007 1:04 am
pahwa wrote:Frankly speaking, I did not find anything wrong in your essay. The use of examples in each paragraph is impressive.

Why do you think something is lacking?
I just felt if my sentences were very long winding and didn't have varying lengths. Felt every sentence was long. I was worried if I had constructed the sentence in a manner that would not draw the attention of the reader. Will this fetch me a 5.5 , thats what I am looking at. Any suggestion is always welcome.