Please review this!!!!! Thank you!

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Please review this!!!!! Thank you!

by savannah.hooper » Sat Jun 27, 2015 8:02 am
The following appeared in an Excelsior Company memorandum.

The Excelsior Company plans to introduce its own brand of coffee. Since coffee is an expensive food item, and since there are already many established brands of coffee, the best way to gain customers for the Excelsior brand is to do what Superior, the leading coffee company, did when it introduced the newest brand in its line of coffees: conduct a temporary sales promotion that offers free samples, price reductions, and discount coupons for the new brand.

The Excelsior Company plans to use a variety of tactics including free samples, price reductions, and coupons to promote its new brand of coffee. Since this venture requires a high capital investment the company wants to ensure that the new product is promoted appropriately and successfully. The company's plan contains ideas that could indeed be successful if correctly carried out. However, there are numerous flaws in the line of reasoning behind the ideas and additional promotions and tactics could greatly improve the plan's results.

The main flaw in Excelsior Company's line of reasoning is relying on the model of Superior, the leading cofee company. Excelsior plans on introducing its first ever line of coffee in the same way that Superior introduced its newest brand of coffee. This is flawed logic because Superior already had an established brand name. Since this is Excelsior's first venture into the coffee industry the company should base its model on a company that has succeeded in penetrating Superior's share of the market. Excelsior lacks the brand loyalty and reconizability that Superior boasts.

Another factor that the Excelsior Company needs to consider in this venture is what market the company is already competing in. The company should try to appeal to its existing customers before it tries to establish a completely new customer base. The credibility and quality of this venture will be judged based on the reputation that the company already has established. A second factor that the company must take into consideration is whether or not these promotions would make the product appear "cheap" to consumers. By offering so many different promotions consumers could possibly view the product as poor quality and the company as desperate. Overall, both of these factors point out logical flaws in the company's argument.

One way that this argument could be strengthened would be by appealing to the existing customers of Excelsior through targeted advertisements and marketing campaigns. Another way that the plan could be improved would be to expand the breadth of the promotions to include television and radio advertisements. Endorsements by athletes, celebrities, or politicians could also be beneficial in penetrating the very established coffee market. Ensuring the highest brand of quality and organic ingredients would also serve to strengthen the brand's appeal to a high number of consumers.

Overall, this argument is flawed through its logic and could be strenghtened by the addition of numerous tactics, including adding additional publicity campaigns. By adding extra publicity and ensuring the tactics promote the product without making it seem cheap, Excelsior's plan will be greatly strengthened. In conclusion, Excelsior's plan if implemented correctly and at the right time could result in a successful venture.

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by Katharine@GMATPrepNow » Sat Jun 27, 2015 4:42 pm
Hello savannah.hooper,

Great job on writing a full five paragraph essay! After your previous response, I suggested improving the examples you give and increasing essay length.

Writing: The only writing errors I saw were a few typos, but that's easy to fix if you spend time rereading your essay before the end of the time limit. Otherwise, I didn't notice major problems.

Structure: You've done a much better job of writing a full five paragraph essay, and you've reached a good length for your response. Your conclusion doesn't feel as if it came from a template, which is another good sign. Your intro could have restated the author's argument earlier, instead of starting with a few sentences that weren't as direct.

Arguments/Examples: You found problems with many parts of the author's argument, and you addressed several of the author's main points. I liked how you broke down the problems with using the Superior strategy and showed how each is flawed.

Suggestions for Improvement: Try to save a few minutes for proofreading before you submit your response. Make sure that the intro restates the author's argument right away, instead of waiting for a few sentences. Otherwise, I think that this essay shows great progress. I'd give it close to a five, and I think that you're almost to a top score.

If you have specific questions, please let me know.

Best,
Katharine
Katharine Rudzitis - BA
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