Please review my issue essay. Exam in 5 days!!

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How would you rate my issue essay?
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Total Votes : 1

AbhishekGakhar
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Topic: Please review my issue essay. Exam in 5 days!!
PostMon Jul 28, 2008 6:27 am Reply with quote
Hi Guys,

It will be a great help if someone could review my issue essay. My G-Day is in a week's time. Tips and hints are always welcome.

Thanks a ton!!!

Issue Topic:

"The presence of a competitor is always beneficial to a company. Competition forces a company to change itself in ways that improve its practices."


My response:

The author is of the opinion that competition is always beneficial to a company as it forces a company to improve. The opinion of the author seems convincing enough and holds in most cases if not in all of them.

Competion keeps a company on its toes and gives the company a reason to improve and continue to do so. While it is true that competition might not always be healthy and lead to bad practices, competition plays a major role in helping a company to keep getting better because, in the eyes of the customer, the company has to provide better services and products than its competition.

Competion not only helps a company to avoid complacency but also gives a company the opportunity to observe ideas or practices employed by competitors. For e.g. automobile companies always have their cars tested by experts simultaneously with rivals's cars so that they can learn from the competitors.

It is true that customer satisfaction is a good enough reason for a company to continuously produce better services and products. But even customers want to have various options to choose from when they look for a product of their needs. In absence of competition, the customers will be forced to choose the only available product and a company will never get feedback from the retailers about why a particular product of the company did not sell as well as that of the rival company.

To sum it up, presence of a competitor is always beneficial to a company as it gives the company many reasons to keep improving its products and practices.
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vik123
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PostWed Jul 30, 2008 4:38 am Reply with quote
Abhishek,

Overall the essay seems to be well structured. The biggest qualm I have against it is its length...its too short...try to write a little more..

Also the spelling of competition is wrong in the second and the third paras. Just make sure that you get words that you use repeatedly correct.

One another point you could have talked about is that competition results in decrease of prices. You have correctly reasoned that competition results in improved products for the costumers.

Vik.
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AbhishekGakhar
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PostWed Jul 30, 2008 5:51 am Reply with quote
Thanks for your reply. I have also checked out 6er passages and have noticed that they are longer. Each paragraph has about 3-4 sentences. I have taken note of that.

Thanks for another argument about competition reducing prices.

Regarding the spellings of competition, I think I did not get enough time to check the spellings.

Thanks once again!!
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