GMAT Essays (AWA)

Hi, please review my AWA GMAT essay. It is my first try and my GMAT exam is in 3 weeks. Would be a lot of help if an expert can do it.

The following was used as part of an internet advertising company's appeal to businesses:"Furniture Depot employed our internet advertising company to help. Since then its sales increased by 10% over last year's totals. Furniture Depot's success demonstrates how using our internet services can increase your profitability."

Describe how well reasoned you find this argument. In the discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the argument's conclusion. You may also address possible changes in the argument that would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.


The argument states that Furniture Depot used the advertising company's services and hence, was able to increases its sales and profitability. Stated in this way the argument fails to mention several key factors which can be used to evaluate the argument. Due to the absence of such factors, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument argument assumes that the use of the internet company's services has led to the increase in sales of Furniture Depot. The argument fails to give concrete evidence that use of such services was the sole reason for the company's improvement in performance. For example, high prices offered by the Furniture Depot's competitor might have led to higher sales or higher discounts by the company could have been a major factor in contributiing to the increased sales or a favourable change in the external environment might have been the cause of increased sales.

Second, the argument claims that using the advertising company's services led to higher profitability. However, the argument fails to mention the cost of employing such service. The argument states that the sales were increased by 10% while the profitability was also increased. However, without mentioning the cost of the acquired services the argument fails to tell the margin that the company ultimately earned. For instance, the company might have increased sales by 10% but the profits only increased by 1%. Therefore, the argument's effectiveness comes into questioned.

Finally, the argument is an appeal by the internet company to prospective clients for further business. However, the argument fails to clarify the kind of services provided by the advertising company. Hence, the prospective clients do not get a holistic picture of the advertising company's services, which casts a serious doubt on the effectiveness of the argument. The argument could have been strengthened by mentioning a brief outline of the kinds of strategies used by the advertising company to increase sales.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed because of the aforementioned reasons. The argument could have been strengthened if it mentioned all the relevant facts. A situation where a decision needs to be taken should be evaluated according to all its contributing factors. Without these factors, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.

Thanks, Katherine. Your advice is appreciated.

This is my other essay from a Kaplan practise test. Could you review it? Also, could you let me know an appropriate word limit for my essay?

"With an increasing demand for highly skilled workers, this nation will soon face a serious labor shortage. New positions in technical and professional occupations are increasing rapidly, while at the same time the total labor force is growing slowly. Moreover, the government is proposing to cut funds for aid to education in the near future."

The argument states that the nation will soon face a labour shortage of highly skilled workers because of slow growth rate of labour force and proposed government cutback in aid to education in the near future. Stated in this way, the argument may have some merit however, it fails to mention key contributing factors which will be helpful to evaluate the argument. The argument is based on assumption for which no conclusive proof is given. Therefore, the argument is weak, unconvincing and has several flaws.

First, the argument states that new positions in technical and professional occupations are increasing rapidly while the labour force is growing slowly. However, this statement is a stretch because the author assumes that the existing size of labour force and demand for jobs is equal. The author, illogicaly, uses only the rate of increase of the two measures to arrive at the conclusion that there will be a shortage of labour in the future. To illustrate, the current labourforce may not be fully employed or the current labour force is already larger than the demand for skilled jobs. Therefore, the slower rate of increase in labour force may still be greater than the rate of increase in new skilled-jobs created. Moreover, the argument fails to mention the amount of increase in the two units. The argument could have been strengthened if it had mentioned the current employment rate of the nation and backed his statement with specific numbers.

Second, the argument fails to take into account external factors that may not create a shortage of labour in the future. For example, the author fails to mention migration as a source of labour in his argument. In the modern world, people are free to move to different countries with relative ease. Therefore, migration has become an important source of labour. The economy of the United States of America attracts labour in huge numbers every year. The number is so large that the government of USA is taking steps to control the entry of migrants to its economy. The argument could have been strengthened if it had mentioned such factors and their impact on the conclusion.

Finally, the argument states that the government is proposing cutback of aid to education in the near future however, it fails to mention the cost of education in the nation. For instance, the cost of education in the country might be declining which could be because of a number of factors such as new colleges, higher enrolment etc. Thus, the cutback of aid may not have the predicted effects on the labour market.

In sum, the argument is weak because it lacks several relevant factors. Moreover, the argument is based on assumptions with no conclusive proofs. The argument could have been strengthened if it had mentioned all the relevant information stated above. Without this information, the argument is unsubstantiated and open to debate.

Thank you. I'll keep the things in mind.
On the scale 1-6, can you give me an idea how much this essay will score?