Please rate my GMAT essay: Exam in 2 days

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Please rate my GMAT essay: Exam in 2 days

by adbitm1313 » Sun Feb 28, 2016 9:50 pm
According to the most recent survey of our readers, nearly 70% of the respondents indicated that they are planning to build or purchase a new home over the next 2 years. These results indicate that the growth in the construction industry is likely to accelerate in the near future. Therefore, this industry continues to offer lucrative opportunities for investment

Answer
The argument states that a survey showed that nearly 70% of the respondents said that thew were planning to build or buy a new house over the next two years.But, it doesn't throw a light on the the number of people or percernt of the the overall population that was surveyed.It just assumes that the responses represent a genarality and can be applied ubiqoutously.It is possible that only a small percent of the overall population is planning to buy a home.It would have been more sound if the information regarding the actual number of people surveyed and what percentage of the actual population they formed was given.

Also,it does not give any information about the geography, that is whether the survey is for a particular city or in general for all cities of a country.So, even if the results of the survey were true but for a given city only, then the same cannot be genaralised for the whole industry.So,the argument would have been more informative and rigid had it given information about the points discussed above,such as, the readers's nationality or place of residence.

Furthermore,the assumption that people will eventually end up buying a home leads to the conclusion that the construction industry should accelerate.But the assumption itself is flawed.There is no strong evidence that whether the readers who indicated positively on planning to buy a home will end up doing so.May be, they are just planning but will not purchase a home in the near future.

Moreover,the last line, mentioning that lucrative oppurtunities will be offered by the construction idustry, is also vague .Even if all the stated assumptions were true, it is not clear that
whether the investment in this sector will be profitable or lucrative.
Hence the argument is flawed and needs strong evidences and points to make it better.

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by adbitm1313 » Fri Mar 04, 2016 6:37 pm
Thanks willstrout.
I just wrote on the topic I got while taking Manhattan CAT tests.Though, I did write some essays on topics that had social importance.Anyways, thanks for your valuable feedback. :)

I am done with my exam,but yet to receive AWA score, so fingers crossed!