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Please rate my first issue essay

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alpana_10 Just gettin' started! Default Avatar
13 Mar 2008
9 messages
Please rate my first issue essay Post Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:44 am
Elapsed Time: 00:00
    Please suggest me strategies to improve it further and what to avoid,what not to do.

    "Corporations and other businesses should try to eliminate the many ranks and salary grades that classify employees according to their experience and expertise.A 'flat' organizational structure is more likely to encourage collegiality and cooperation among employees.
    Discuss the extent to which you agree/disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience,observations or reading.

    In my view,the author's recommendation for a flat organizational structure to encourage cooperation among employees is not very justifiable.However on some grounds with respect to corporation benefits,it can be justified to some extent but that too not completely.

    Firstly,if we try to eliminate many ranks and salary grades according to employees experience,according to my view that would reduce the enthausiasm among employees towards work for instance even in schools if students don't get recognition,they would stop working hard,it would hardly make any difference if they get good/worst grades,in a similar manner that applies to corporate world as well. Secondly if there is no rank system,people of lower grades/experience would stop respecting the upper grade employees and it would hamper the work environment as well. A respect for more experienced team lead makes it obligatory for its team to deliver the work on time to some extent which is really essential for a company for its growth.

    In support of flat structure,it would prove more beneficial for a company in terms of growth and would help company to bear less losses only at times of recession. That means scrapping away high fat salaries for experienced employees would all go into the pockets of company but that too at the cost of company's big losses as mentioned above.

    In sum,A company has to get maximum out of its employees in terms of its profits,to achieve its targets timely that can be achieved only with great enthusiasm among employees towards their work and it needs timely recognition of their work from time to time.Thus A flat structure is neither going to benefit company/employees nor it will promote a cooperative environment among employees to a very great extent.

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    VP_Jim GMAT Instructor Default Avatar
    01 May 2008
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    Post Thu Jul 24, 2008 6:15 pm
    Hi alpana_10,

    I think you're on the right track with this, but here are my thoughts: First, try not to go back and forth on your opinion. In your introductory paragraph, you first stated that you don't think the author's statement is justifiable, then you went back on that statement and said it IS justifiable to a certain extent in some circumstances. Don't do this; pick a point of view and stick to it.

    Second, always, always leave time to proofread your essay for grammatical and spelling mistakes before you submit it. Also, I'm not sure if it is the program you're using, but you're not leaving a space after every comma, which makes it more difficult to read.

    Finally, try to use specific examples - for instance, you could say, "At Company <insert name of company you worked for or know>, the traditional ranking system was not used (and then describe what happened)..." What matters is that you use a specific, real-world example to support your opinion.

    I'd probably give this essay a 3. Good luck!

    Jim S. | GMAT Instructor | Veritas Prep

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