GMAT Essays (AWA)

The following appeared as part of an article reviewing summer camps for children.

Parents, if you need a summer camp for your children look no further than Federville Farms. In a recent survey, Federville Farms ranked first in both overall camper satisfaction and in food quality, and second in the variety of outdoor activities. Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for over forty years, so you have nothing to worry about when it comes to your child's safety, and it employs more Red Cross certified lifeguards than any other camp in the state. If you seek the best camp experience for your children, Federville Farms is the best choice you can make.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion



RESPONSE:

The argument concludes that Federville Farms is the best choice for the parents for their children's summer camp experience. The argument claims that since Federville Farms ranked 1st in overall satisfaction of the campers and in food quality, and ranked 2nd in the variety of outdoor activities; it is the best place to camp during the summer. Also, the argument guarantees the children's safety during the summer camp because Federville Farms has been family owned and operated for more than forty years. Stated in this manner, the argument ignores many important factors and lacks coherent reasoning which could be essential to evaluate the argument appropriately. Due to these shortcomings, the argument is rather weak, unconvincing and debatable.


Firstly, the argument uses the result of a recent survey to claim that Federville Farms is the best place for children to camp during the summer. However, it does not provide information about how the survey was conducted, who conducted the survey and what were the parameters which were considered for evaluation of the survey. Also, it does not mention the places on which the survey was conducted. It is quite possible that a place which could have been better for summer camp was missed out or not considered in the survey for some reasons. Moreover, it does not clarify the aspects considered in the overall camper satisfaction. For example, it is possible that camping at Federville Farms is too expensive for the facilities and activities provided in the camp; and this factor has not been evaluated in the survey. Hence, the argument ignores such important factors and jumps to a conclusion based on rough information. This makes the argument unpursuasive and questionable.


Secondly, the argument assumes that the safety of children at Federville Farms is utmost. This asssumption is based on the fact that Federville Farms is family owned and operated for more than forty years. However, this information is not enough to promise the safety of children. The argument does not establish any corelation between the ownership of the Federville Farms and the safety of children camping there. Also, the fact that the farms has been operated for forty years does not necessarily mean that the farms would be a safe place for children to camp. If the argument explicitly mentioned that for the past forty years, there has been no incident or unsafe practices, it would have been a lot more appealing. Without any convincing information, the argument is not rather weak.


Finally, the argument mentiones that Federville Farms has the most number of Red Cross certified lifeguards. However, this does not necessarily mean that they shall be able to rescue children in case of any tragedy. Having the most number of life guards does not guarantee safety of children. Therefore, the claim that Federville Farms is very safe for children is quite baseless.

In conclusion, the argument is flawed because it fails to consider many important parameters and is based on unconvincing assumptions without appropriate reasoning. The argument can be strengthened by considering these aspects and providing additional information.