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Please evaluate my Essay

This topic has 3 member replies
AnSo Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
Joined
11 Apr 2015
Posted:
1 messages

Please evaluate my Essay

Post Fri Jul 08, 2016 6:59 am
Elapsed Time: 00:00
  • Lap #[LAPCOUNT] ([LAPTIME])
    Prompt:

    The following appeared as part of the business plan of an investment and financial consulting firm:
    “Studies suggest that an average coffee drinker’s consumption of coffee increases with age, from age 10 through age
    60. Even after age 60, coffee consumption remains high. The average cola drinker’s consumption of cola, however,
    declines with increasing age. Both of these trends have remained stable for the past 40 years. Given that the number
    of older adults will significantly increase as the population ages over the next 20 years, it follows that the demand for
    coffee will increase and the demand for cola will decrease during this period. We should, therefore, consider
    transferring our investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee.”


    My answer:


    The argument concludes that the demand for coffee will increase over the next 20 years and the demand of cola will decrease during that period; hence, the firm should consider transferring its investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee. This argument is flawed due to its selective data interpretation, ignorance of supply-demand fundamentals and lack of information on the benefits of transferring the investment.

    Firstly, the argument is based on the premise that the number of older adults will significantly increase in the next 20 years. It ignores a similar increase/decrease in the younger age group for the same period. As the time passes, adoloscenets will move to teenage and new children will be born. The argument completely ignores this information. The argument is selectively interpreting data which could have a negative impact on the decision.

    Secondly, though the argument suggests there will be an increase in the demand of coffee, it does not quantify this increase. The increase in demand could range from 10 tons a year to 10000 tons a year. Without this information, the firm cannot take an informed decision on the investment. The argument also ignores the fundamentals of supply and demand. While there is an increase predicted in the demand for coffee, if there is no simultaneous increase in supply of coffee the investment will not bear the requried results. The argument, also, doesn't quantify the reason for transferring the investment. It could be to increase profits or to gain market leadership or to maintain its presence in the FMCG industry.

    Thirdly, the argument suggests that the firm should move its investment to the Early Bird Coffee without elaborating on the type of coffee that is preferred by the average coffee drinker. Type of preferred coffee could be de-caf, instant coffee or black coffee to name a few. If the preferred type of coffee doesn't match the type of coffee made at Early Bird Coffee, the company could loose its investment.

    Thus, the conclusion that the firm should transfer its investments from Cola Loca to Early Bird Coffee is falwed. In order to make the argument more sound and persuasive, the author should include more information on the types of coffee preferred by the average coffee drinker, the change expected in the younger population in the next 20 years and the end goal of the investment. As it stands however, in its current form the argument is flawed for the reasons stated.

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    LindaMerrill Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
    Joined
    21 Jul 2016
    Posted:
    2 messages
    Post Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:13 am
    Hi,

    Not bad essay. I trying share my similar essay in this thread:

    Comparison Essay

    Throughout history, both coffee and spirits have been used to link parts of the world together. While spirits and coffee were used to bring people together from different regions, only coffee was able to produce a social environment that removed social boundaries.

    Like distilled alcohol, the diffusion of both beverages was rapid and took over places throughout the world. Arabica coffee, the dominant coffee at the time was quickly spreading throughout the globe. “Coffee is harvested in the neighborhood of Mecca; Thence it is conveyed to the port of Jiddah. Hence it is shipped to Suez… (Standage 146). The rapid diffusion of coffee was likely to attract new varieties for consumer taste and competition against the Arabian monopoly on coffee. Alcohol, was also diffused and matched to suit different regions of the world. The creation of rum was due to the high number of sugar plantations that were available in Barbados and due to the cost of importing wine. Dependency on coffee was recognized by European countries and they began to establish their own supplies to grow coffee fruits. The Dutch East India Company was the first to compete successfully against the monopoly and stole cuttings from the Arabica trees used to grow coffee.    

    Both coffee and rum have social values since they caused interaction between others, even if it was for economic benefit of one party. As consumer demands for coffee increased, coffee-houses were created and “for the price of a cup (or “dish”) of coffee, he could read the latest pamphlets and newsletters, chat with other patrons… (Standage 152). This new idea of a coffee-house created a social environment where differences were set aside and in which people could catch up on politics, interact with other people, and gain economic benefit by striking business deals. Coffee was inaccurately described to be able to sober you up, and provide healing; this falsehood contributed to the increase of the consumption of coffee. Spirits, or distilled alcoholic drinks, were also used to unite people together.. 

    Unlike coffee, spirits could be used to commemorate another and had economic value; specifically rum, which was used to buy slaves from Africa. “Its immediate significance was as a currency, for it closed the triangle linking spirits, slaves, and sugar. Rum was also used to reward slaves for performing unpleasant tasks. Rum was more associated with members of the lower class, while coffee was associated with the higher class, since the coffee-houses made it possible to obtain a form of education while the former was responsible for intoxicating others and making them oblivious to the events happening around them.

    In summation, both spirits and coffee were able to provide a drink that increased communication between people and promoted good health. However, only coffee was advantageous to most people and was not distinct by region as much as alcohol was.

    PS. I'm professional editor and freelance writer for hire of writing services.

    Cheers,

    Linda

    DebraB Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
    Joined
    08 Sep 2016
    Posted:
    2 messages
    Post Thu Sep 08, 2016 6:15 am
    You are really good writer. Your essay is very informative and interesting. But there is one thing that I want to advice to you to make your assays better. I mean your writing style (speedypaper review). Sometimes it's better ask for expert consultation.

    davidanderson Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
    Joined
    21 Aug 2017
    Posted:
    1 messages
    Post Mon Aug 21, 2017 9:03 am
    My recommendation: work on writing style and stronger arguments. The user above is right. I'd also recommend you to get help from mentioned guys. You can read my speedypaper review https://www.ihatewritingessays.com/speedypaper-com-review as well.

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