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Need feedback on my first AWA Essay

This topic has 3 member replies
Auzbee Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts
Joined
09 Jul 2007
Posted:
77 messages

Need feedback on my first AWA Essay

Post Sun Aug 19, 2007 3:26 pm
Elapsed Time: 00:00
  • Lap #[LAPCOUNT] ([LAPTIME])
    This is my first essay on Analysis of an Issue. I randomly picked up the topic from the list of AWA essays and gave it a shot, without looking at the sample essay.
    I would appreciate if folks can give me their feedback. I am not very happy with the content, and your feedback comments are most welcome.

    Topic:
    "All groups and organizations should function as teams in which everyone makes decisions and shares responsibilities and duties. Giving one person central authority and responsibility for a project or task is not an effective way to get work done."

    Essay:
    The author puts forward the statement that an effective way to get work done is by functioning as a team in which everyone makes decisions and shares responsibilities and duties. While I agree with the partial statement that to achieve a project or task's success the group needs to work as a team, the group's objectives would be far from accomplishment if everyone makes decisions and shares duties. My views are supported by three reasons as described.

    I would like to put forward the example of the task of construction of a building which is accomplished by hundreds of people - architect, site manager, laborers and many more. If every member of the whole team is given a chance to decide on the plan for the building, each person would have their own views and opinion. This would result in a situation where the project would never move forward beyond the first stage. Is this an effective model to accomplish the work?

    Every individual is unique with his or her unique strengths and weakness. Some people are good at doing a particular task while others fail miserably at them. If each of us were to share responsibilities and duties and make decisions about each other's tasks, it is an obvious recipe for a disaster.

    If we look at the history of mankind, there have been rulers and kings who have lead their kingdom and territories. One person would lead the group, have the ultimate decision power and would be responsible for the decisions made. This structure has been the underlying basis of the successful formation of human society in all geographies, ages and times. Author's statement contradicts the theory that has been proven successful by man over time again and again.

    In conclusion the author's statement does not give convincing reasons for an effective way to get the work done in a team where every member shares the responsibilities and duties and makes decisions.

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    devesh Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts Default Avatar
    Joined
    18 Jun 2007
    Posted:
    57 messages
    Post Fri Aug 24, 2007 10:35 am
    structure is good and examples are effectively used by you.
    but content is a little weak.
    you could have talked more about importance of central authority for decision making.

    Auzbee Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts
    Joined
    09 Jul 2007
    Posted:
    77 messages
    Post Mon Aug 27, 2007 10:53 pm
    Encouraging. Appreciate your postive feedback. Yes the content was little weak. I will try to improve.

    Thanks for your feedback

    Treeram Junior | Next Rank: 30 Posts Default Avatar
    Joined
    08 Jul 2007
    Posted:
    10 messages
    Post Wed Aug 29, 2007 11:16 pm
    The author talks about sharing of responsibilities.Which does not mean that a decision, which should be taken by a manager , can be taken by a sub-ordinate.

    Examples , the first two reasons are very good , but the third one which talks about society and about kingdoms is very weak. If you can give n examples of kingdoms which flourished under absolute power , there can also be n examples of kingdoms , which flounder under absolute power.

    As he has said , the content could have been stronger.. apart from just looking at one point of having central authority.. . we can look at the semantics of words used in the argument. The argument, you have given looks at only one angle of the topic. You have given an example of a construction company. Will the same rules apply for other industries , say IT. Does any of the other industries gain from team work ? If so , you could have given an example for that too ...and if still you want to support absolute power.. you could have picked some glarring mistakes in team work , even though it helps....

    Great job for starting such a thread , I am also learning to write essays.We can share our ideas and thought processes too.....

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