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My two AWAs. Please e-val if you have a minute (or two :)

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yuri Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts Default Avatar
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My two AWAs. Please e-val if you have a minute (or two :)

Post Thu Nov 08, 2007 9:26 pm
Hi guys, please evaluate my essays if you have time. Thank you:

The following appeared in the health section of a magazine on trends and lifestyles:

"People who use the artificial sweetener aspartame are better off consuming sugar, since aspartame can actually contribute to weight gain rather than weight loss. For example, high levels of aspartame have been shown to trigger a craving for food by depleting the brain of a chemical that registers satiety, or the sense of being full. Furthermore, studies suggest that sugars, if consumed after at least 45 minutes of continuous exercise, actually enhance the body's ability to burn fat. Consequently, those who drink aspartame-sweetened juices after exercise will also lose this calorie-burning benefit. Thus it appears that people consuming aspartame rather than sugar are unlikely to achieve their dietary goals."

Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.



The article in the health magazine states that the use of real sugar, instead of artificial sweetener aspartame, contributes to fat burning and weight loss. The author of the article comes to the conclusion, that people who want to achieve their dietary goals will be better off consuming real sugar rather than aspartame. The statement is flawed, because the author assumes that people who consume aspartame do so in order to loose weight, and that they have a choice of including real sugar into their diets. The author also assumes that those who consume the sweetener, exercise regularly, and, thus, will benefit from the consumption of real sugar.

First, the author assumes that people who consume aspartame instead of real sugar have a choice of selection. Some people with diabetes cannot take real sugar, however they want to enjoy sweet taste of their drinks and food. Teenagers, for example, may choose to avoid real sugar, because consumption of sugar leads to an outburst of pimples on their faces. Parents may be not willing to give sugary drinks to their children, because sugar makes kids hyper and hard to deal with.

Second, the article's conclusion is based on the assumption that those who consume drinks with the artificial sweetener exercise regularly. If people do not exercise, then the fat-burning benefit of the real sugar is irrelevant to them. Sugar consumption will only add extra calories to their diet, rather than burn off the fat.

Third, the health specialist who wrote the article assumes that people consuming aspartame do not have control over their desires, and can be easily fooled by the depletion of the brain of a chemical that registers satiety. If a person has control over his desires and follows an organized diet plan, the desires triggered by his brain following the intake of aspartame will not have the effect that is expected by the author.

The argument could be strengthened, if the author provided additional information in the introduction of the paragraph. For example, the author could provide evidence based on a research or a public opinion poll, that people who consume the sweetener instead of real sugar have an option of including both products into their diets. The author could also explicitly state that those who choose aspartame over real sugar, do so in order to loose weight, and combine their diet with regular exercises.

Based on the factors assumed by the author and discussed in this essay, the argument is not convincing. The article could have been more sound if it had included the proposed information, however, without such data the argument is weak and its conclusion is flawed.


"When someone achieves greatness in any field-such as the arts, science, politics, or business-that person's achievements are more important than any of his or her personal faults."

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion stated above. Support your views with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.



I disagree with the statement that a person's achievement in a certain career field can serve as an excuse to overlook his or her personal faults.

First, many internationally acclaimed actors and sports figures are seeing as role models around the world. Even when their performance in arts or sports is excellent, their personal conduct outside of their work setting may be considered important factor by their fans, supervisors and investors. For example, a holder of an Academy Award (Oscar), Russell Crowe, is an excellent actor, who continuously participates in filmings of the most excellent movies. However, his emotionally driven conduct at a hotel in New York three years ago, lead to his arrest and temporarily hurt his fame and career.

Second, criminal behavior of certain actors, sport stars and politicians results in massive coverage of such events by mass media. For example, a candidate for a city council in Seattle, who had been thought to win the elections, lost by a landslide, after she had been arrested for DUI (driving under the influence of alcohol).
A famous American football player was recently arrested for organizing dog fights on his property. His trial resulted in the suspensions of his sports and advertisement contracts. This case served as a negative example of a football star's lifestyle and affected those, who invest in football teams.

Third, achievements of politicians are directly tied to their social life. Voters elect their leader, based on the candidate's performance and social status. Many Republican Party representatives across America were occused of misconduct in public placesr. All the cases involved the representatives' sexual preferences. Sexuality is a personal choice of every person, however, these representatives had voted against gay rights bills, but later were caught in inappropriate situations involving gay sex. Such actions show lack of the politicians' integrity, and directly harm their professional life.

No one is perfect, and many people make poor choices or get caught in public doing something they wish they had never done. However, society can be forgiving only to a certain point, and the leadership role, which is forced upon famous individuals by their status, obligates them to avoid as many personal faults as possible. I believe that one's achievements in sports, arts, politics or business are not less important than his personal faults, and are directly related to his personal life and behavior.

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Post Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:25 pm
Good luck yuri, please let us know how it goes!

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yuri Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts Default Avatar
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Post Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:23 pm
Thank you Guest!
Well, it's coming... 14 hours left Very Happy

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GMAT/MBA Expert

Post Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:25 pm
Good luck yuri, please let us know how it goes!

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Sorin Istrate - Community Manager

MBA Watch - Your one-stop shop for all MBA program research

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yuri Senior | Next Rank: 100 Posts Default Avatar
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Post Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:23 pm
Thank you Guest!
Well, it's coming... 14 hours left Very Happy

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