Mini Scholarship for September 15 - October 15, 2006

beatthegmat · Last edited by beatthegmat on Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

I'm taking a risk proposing this essay topic because I think it has become so cliche--yet I'm really interested in hearing how people respond because this event changed my life so dramatically, as it did countless others. Thus, to tribute the event that took place this month five years ago, here's the essay topic for this month's Sept/Oct 2007 mini scholarship:

Where were you on September 11, 2001?

You can submit your essay response by replying to this discussion thread.

Please review these rules to determine whether you are eligible to participate in this scholarship opportunity. The prize is a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate; one winner will be selected by me and announced on October 16. Please submit your essay by end of day, October 15.

Please note: The last two mini scholarships have been easily won by aim-wsc, largely due to the fact that he was the only person submitting responses. I strongly encourage other folks this month to write an essay--it's a great way to practice your writing for AWAs and MBA applications, and you might win a $50 gift certificate!

Best of luck, and I look forward to reading all of your responses...

wildrebel · Posted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:29 pm Post subject: Topic?

Hey Eric,

Interesting topic, but I have to say- you're kind of limiting people's chances to write this.

I'll be writing a response, but it'll be limited to the 5 hours I was awake post watching it on TV (I live in India).

Maybe you should think about a change of topic? Perhaps an experience that isn't restricted to a particular day or date?

I must say though, that it's mighty nice of you to hand out 50$ a month- what with server costs and all that.

All the best.

beatthegmat · Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 6:50 pm Post subject: Re: Topic?

wildrebel · Posted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 6:59 pm Post subject: Re: Topic?

ajith · Posted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:03 am Post subject:

Let me introduce me First, I am Ajith, I am from India. I was not considering the option of doing a foreign MBA. You may be wondering why I ended up finding this site, I searched for materials to (Free!~ Heh) improve my verbal abilities and thank god I reached here.

That's how I ended up here, will tell you exactly how later as that is neither the purpose of this post nor this is the right thread to do so. I know I cannot compete in this competition because this is my first post, yet I want to say something about the 9/11. Before I start that let me tell you there are a lot of folks in the internet who searches for the stuff you provide. You have the quality but you have to market it. Plan it so that when one seaches GMAT in the web your site is among the top 10 results atleast, and you know there are shortcuts to do that.

So, let me come to the topic, 9/11 attacks were indeed shocking. I remember when it had happened, It was two days after I joined my BE cource (Bachelor of Engg), I heard people talking about the attack and everyone was seeming to be eager to know what is happening. TV rooms were full , people discussing the impact and it was alarming and as a global citizen I felt the insecurity, so I can imagine an American's plight.

The goverment has to do something, to feel people make secure. The best way to do so - inject patriotism to their veins , make them believe that whatever the goverment does is for the country. Yeah! someone among the top brass came up with the shock and awe idea, how wonderful!. They thought with the psudo fight against the terrorism they can get away. But they shocked and awed people in the middle east and afghanistan so that it became an attack against muslims rather than against al-qaeda.

Top goverment knew things were not going their their way, they indeed knew they have to do something. Another wonderful initiative was the result of brainstorming (may be they have too little brain to storm), The Great war on Terrorism. They went to Iraq and invaded it, without much reason. They had great success at the cost of a lot of American soldiers' life.They thought who cares about the lives about them when the psudo patriotism is injected. Result : U.S. MILITARY DEATHS IN IRAQ: 2695 U.S. MILITARY WOUNDED IN IRAQ: 19945. [url] http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/[/url] This was about US military now see Iraqi civilian head counts http://www.iraqbodycount.net/ . And they say the war was a success. When the entire humanity fails where exactly is the success??.

Now, Offlate , Israel's attacks on Lebanon, that was not necessary at all. One cannot go invade a country for some terrorists keeping 2 people from your country under captivity. If that were the case , India would have invaded Pakistan 2 times a month. What the Bush Administration did was to support Israel. We the international community was skeptical about Bush's intentions always, and he proved right it by keeping double standards.

I am disappointed with Mr Bush and a lot of his policies. He made one religion in the entire world stand against him. How can he say his country is safe when such a vast population in the world are against him. If this all was done to reinforce his country's Security. He hasnt done anything. I would like to ask him one more question "Where were you on September 11, 2001?"

beatthegmat · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 10:34 pm Post subject:

Reminder to everyone: the last day to submit an essay for this month's scholarship is October 15!

I encourage you to participate! Thanks.

beatthegmat · Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 6:41 pm Post subject: Extending deadline

For this month's mini scholarship, I am extending the deadline for submission by EOD 10/18, to account for the lost time this weekend in migrating the forum to new servers.

Please submit an essay! Only one person has submitted thus far.

Thanks!

cooldude · Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:15 pm Post subject:

8/18 or 10/18
now deadline is october 18? Question

beatthegmat · Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 10:20 pm Post subject:

aim-wsc · Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:13 am Post subject:

keep this thread for essay guys

Only essays.

and move all posts here .....
http://beatthegmat.com/viewtopic.php?t=290

and people,
Mad

do submit your essays this time Mad

cooldude · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 9:41 am Post subject:

I still remember that night. I was watching Television and every channel was broadcasting the shocking news of terrorists attacks on two World Trade Center buildings.Life became still for some moments. The attack on Twin Towers in New York city, the city where statue of liberty stands, was clearly a symbol of an attack on whole civilized {?} world. And although the terrorists attacks were targeted at WTC New York and Pentagon, the shock waves were felt all over the world. Thousands of people died in the attacks. And real loss was much more than that. It could have been even worse But thanks to jesus , after all the number of investment bankers died in the unagreeable attacks is much less than number of innocent children in iraq war who died or were struck by a cool sophisticated landmine designed at cool places like the MIT or Cali - Tech. to become handicap for life !!! And as expected, USA did brilliantly to overcome the effects of shock. People standed firmly and together to show that they have the character needed to endure such times of emergency.
The consequences of 9/11 are not limited to that date only. The whole scene of the world has changed dramatically since then. A couple of tyrant regimes have overthrown from their offices. Countries have tighten their securities and have made new strict rules in order to tackle terrorism. Political equations between countries have changed in an unanticipated manner. Share markets have went through roller coaster rides. One or more airline companies suffered huge losses. Even order of social relations in some societies have changed radically, especially of those who consist of people of more than one religion and include one particular religion. 9/11 has brought attention of the world towards terrorism more than any other terrorist attack in the human history has. People are buying books over terrorism related issues in greater numbers than ever. To day terrorism is the major problem of the world. Most bilateral political meeting has talks-on-terrorism on its agenda. In almost every country leadership pledges to kill terrorism out of its society. Every country has sanctioned laws against terrorism in some or other ways. All the major terrorist groups are now banned all over the world.
So there is no deny the fact that the world is now more united than ever against terrorism. But here there is a very interesting point one could note that although the whole world is now unipolar against terrorism, the demon of terrorism itself is increasing and that with an unprecedented pace!! London, Madrid, Bombay…….the list is unfortunately continuing. We can see that there are troops in Afghanistan to check Taliban people to sprout again but they control only three four metro cities such as Kabul, Kandhar etc and in the rest ,i.e. the interior areas of Afghanistan are still under influence of Taliban . Similarly, in Iraq ,there are troops to get the hold of situation but every other day we hear of some incident claiming few precious innocent lives.
Then there is also other type of terrorism growing with an alarming rate. Recently we saw a country testing neuclear weapons in order to have better terms of trade. We should keep remember that religious affiliation of those testing such weapons of mass destructions might be different from those causing terror attacks all over the world, but both have their minds affiliated to same mentality of mass destruction.
Clearly, much more is to be done than what we were expecting. Terrorism is like a tree or plant which keeps on growing even after cutting a little part of its upper stem and not passing away until we finish it off from its roots .So perhaps what we have done so far against terrorism is only a midway house and need of the time is to go deep into the root cause of the terrorism and finish it from there.
For example, there are places in this world where people are living in miserable economic conditions and terror maniacs tend to exploit this. For someone who have nothing to eat for himself for several days and nothing to feed his kids is it a better choice to wait for some government help and keep watching his family and kids dying of hunger in front of him or to become a sharp shooter for a terror mafia in exchange of few bucks that can at least his kid’s and family’s life, if not his own, for much more days? But again, problem is also in the other end of the society. We have seen that most of the terrorists involved in few biggest terror attacks are well educated and came from a well to do economic background. Actually even in some highly literate societies people of a particular religion, not people who manipulate religious offerings to have their own mission accomplished, are indirectly blamed for all the terror in the world and no surprise that terror groups welcome this situation of social bias with both of their hands and tend to exploit people with their metaphoric literature and lectures.
But again, writing an essay is much more easier than real time work outs. but one thing is for sure that it will take more than “ARMY + MEDIA“ to solve this major threat for our civilization. Mr. Bush is, atleast in literal meaning if not in his practical strategies, correct in saying that the war against terror is going to be long.
It will be mission ENDURING JUSTICE !!!??

cooldude · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 9:45 am Post subject:

wildrebel · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 3:07 pm Post subject:

12:01 AM - Indian Standard Time, September 11th, 2001.

Mumbai, India.

5 people are standing around a dinner table singing Happy Birthday.

A man, somewhere in his late 50s, smiles while standing over a chocolate cake. The cake reads "Happy Birthday Dad!" He's surrounded by his wife, his son, his daughter and his son-in-law. He insists on everybody blowing the candle out together. They do. The cake is cut, and everyone eats to their heart's content. The man opens up his presents. A watch, a new pair of shoes and a framed picture of his family- that's more than anyone could wish for. He's happy. Happy that his family is with him and that he has his health. He would sleep content that night.

While he sleeps, down the hall, his son catches up on some writing. He's writing a letter to his dad. "Thanks for being there" he writes, "You've gone through a lot to get to where you are, and I hope I get to experience even half of what you have!" He signs off with "Your loving son, Nandan" He seals the envelope, and slides it under his parents' door. He falls asleep with a smile on his face. Letters are the best birthday gifts, and he knows it!

The next morning, it's back to the usual. Everyone wakes up at a different time, eats at a different time, and leaves at a different time. The dinner table, the scene of all that togetherness the night before, is now bare, occasionally visited by someone drinking a cup of coffee or a glass of juice. Like everyday, there will be no family breakfast. There's just too much to do.

Nandan arrives at college an hour late. He's missed his logistics submission and the professor doesn't seem to be in a good mood. "Nevermind, I'll deal with him tomorrow" he mutters to himself. The rest of his day is spent playing football and figuring out statistical formulae. He neither remembers his father's birthday, nor the letter he wrote. He's happy in his own little world. There is a marketing project to work on in the evening, after which he's free to head out with some friends and watch the cricket match over a few drinks. The afternoon slides into the evening, and Nandan finds himself at home once again.

"No, no, NO! The font alignment is all wrong! Just leave it aligned the way it was so we can print it and leave". Nandan nods in agreement with his friend's suggestion and proceeds with the print-outs. The project is almost over and the two friends are looking forward to a few cold beers.

"Nandan!! Come here, now. You have to see this!" a voice yells from down the hall.

The two men look at each other wondering what happened. They rush to the living room and watch in awe as the television shows a plane flying straight into a building. The next 10 minutes are spent silent. In disbelief. As the building collapses, people are seen jumping out of windows. The news reporter has tears rolling down her face as she tries to describe the situation as calmly as possible. News reports claim two planes have flown straight into the World Trade Center in New York. The scroller at the bottom suddenly flashes with news of another plane, seen to have crashed into the Pentagon. Suddenly, beer and cricket don't matter.

Two hours later, and every news channel in the world has reported the disaster. The family is once again together, frantically calling everyone they know in New York to make sure they're ok. Everyone is safe. They finish their dinner and eat their leftover cake. They all go to bed without saying a word to each other. Nandan, as well as his sister, find a thank you note on their beds.

"Thanks for the presents! Love you, Dad"

They fall asleep, numb.

The next morning, everyone is awake at 7am. They each find their way to the dining table. They speak, they smile. They talk about their day ahead. The morning newspapers have more details on the catastrophe. No one wants to talk about it, but everyone is thinking about it. And also thinking about each other. Their day begins, but this time, it begins together. There seems to be an unspoken pact between them now. The day WILL begin together.

---

I didn't have anything to do with America or American politics in 2001. I felt sad for the loss of lives and for the savage manner in which the 9/11 attacks were carried out. But I also somewhere felt very alone. And so did the rest of my family. The morning of September 12th, each of us realised how lucky we were to have each other, and how that could change in an instant. We just had to make the most of the time we had.

We've eaten breakfast together ever since.

---
The End.

beatthegmat · Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 6:52 pm Post subject:

Congratulations Nandan (wildrebel)--you are the winner of the Sept-Oct Beat The GMAT! Monthly Mini Scholarship!

I wish to thank everyone for their essays submissions this month--I'm glad to see that we had some competition. I've very much enjoyed reading through everyone's responses.

Nandan--

I was very much impressed by your piece! I think that you have a real talent for narrative writing. What I loved most about this essay was the style you used to present the story.

You used lots of simple, brief sentences, which helped to punctuate the flow of the writing. Simple sentences allow you to build suspense and move through scenes quickly. This style really helped to build up the ultimate event (witnessing the 9/11 attacks on TV), while providing the reader lots of background information of your daily life at that moment.

My criticisms about the essay are quite minor. One thing that I would like to have seen was tighter organization around how the event changed the dynamic of your family before and after. Some more description/insight around your family life would have been interesting. Also, I thought that your description of what you did at school (in the middle of the essay) was a little longer than necessary.

Overall, again, great work! You should be proud of your writing--I hope you can translate your excellent prose to your GMAT essays!

You will receive a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate this month. Thanks again.

cooldude · Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:44 pm Post subject:

hey widerebel congrats man!!!!

i wish u have same success in real mba admission essay Wink