Analyzing an AWA Argument

by , Oct 28, 2010

In a previous article, we talked about how to structure an essay in general: how many paragraphs, how to formulate a thesis statement, what kinds of examples to discuss, and so on. A student has asked for specific examples of these essays, so thats what were going to do today: construct a sample Analyze the Argument essay. (If you havent already read the previous article, you may want to do so first.)

First, we need an essay prompt. Well use a ManhattanGMAT prompt:

The following appeared in an article in ahuman resources magazine:

"Six months ago, in an experiment aimed atboostingworkerproductivity, Company Z started providing free gourmet lunches to its employees. The Company hoped that these officelunches would encourageemployees toremain inthe building during lunch-hour and motivate employees to work harder throughout the day. Asurveyfound that soon after the lunch program was implemented,the average number of hours worked bymost Company Z employees increased dramatically. During this same period, the Company's profits also increased substantially. Thus, in order to keep reaping these benefits, Company Z shouldmake the programpermanent." MGPrep Inc

Task #1: brainstorm flaws in the argument. I need at least two. Heres what I think:

• conclusion is to make the program permanent in order to keep productivity and profits at a higher level
• assumption: free lunch more hours worked increased productivity increased profit. Are those assumptions valid? For example, does more hours worked actually result in increased productivity? No evidence given to support these links.
• argument also says that the free lunches were to encourage employees to remain in the building during lunch; is there actual data to support this? What if, before, people mostly brought their own lunches and ate at their desks already?
• Finally, the survey took place soon after the program was launched; does the data still hold today?

Okay, I feel like Ive got enough. My second and third bullets represent fairly similar thinking, and I like the second bullet better, so Im going to use my second and fourth bullets as my examples. Im ready to start writing.

First Paragraph

In this paragraph, I need to:

• summarize the issue
• state a thesis
• acknowledge that the other side does have some merit
• introduce my examples

Heres my paragraph:

(1) The argument outlines a particular sequence of events, each of which causes the subsequent event: the free lunch program leads to more hours worked, which leads to increased productivity, which leads to increased profits. (2) The author then concludes that the free lunch program should continue in order to continue reaping the subsequent benefits. (3) While there is certainly merit to the idea that the free lunches might result in all of these benefits, the authors conclusion is undermined by the lack of data to support causal links between these events. (4) Specifically, the author does not illustrate that the increased number of hours worked resulted from the free lunches or translated into higher productivity, nor does the author establish that gains observed soon after the program was implemented are still present today.

Sentences 1 and 2 summarize the situation. Sentence 3 acknowledges the other side and then states my thesis. Sentence 4 introduces my two examples.

Body Paragraph #1

In this paragraph, I need to:

• introduce one flaw
• explain why it is a flaw
• suggest ways to fix the flaw

Heres my paragraph:

(1) Productivity is a measure of the amount of work completed during some standard measure of time. (2) Working for an increased number of hours does not necessarily mean that productivity, or the amount of work completed per hour, changes at all. (3) The author indicates only that the employees are working longer hours; no evidence is given as to why or whether productivity itself has altered. (4) Perhaps the company entered an especially busy period soon after the free lunch program began (e.g., several months before the holidays at a toy company), and employees would have worked longer hours no matter what, while producing the same amount of work per hour. (5) The authors conclusion would be better served by establishing that the observed change (an increase in the number of work hours) both resulted from the free lunch program and resulted in a change in productivity.

Sentences 1 and 2 define a specific term necessary to the understanding of a flaw. Sentence 3 introduces the flaw (no evidence to support the causal connection). Sentence 4 illustrates more clearly why the flaw is a flaw (something else could have caused the same result). Sentence 5 suggests a way to fix the flaw (provide evidence to support the claim).

Body Paragraph #2

In this paragraph, I need to do the same things I did in my first body paragraph.

(1) The author provides evidence from a survey conducted soon after the lunch program was implemented. (2) Was the survey a one-time affair that lasted for just one or a few days? (3) Has the situation stayed the same since then; are the employees still working a greatly increased number of hours? (4) If we further the hypothesis discussed in the last paragraph (a busy season results in more hours worked), then perhaps the average number of hours worked has dropped back down to its pre-free-lunch levels. (5) In order to solidify the conclusion, the author would need to demonstrate that the survey results are still true in the present-day situation and havent altered for the worse.

Sentence 1 reminds the reader of a particular part of the argument. Sentences 2 and 3 introduce the flaw (is the data still valid today?). Sentence 4 illustrates more clearly why the flaw is a flaw (the data may not still be valid today, especially if there was a different cause for the observed phenomenon in the first place). Sentence 5 suggests a way to fix the flaw (demonstrate that the data does still apply today).

Conclusion Paragraph

In this paragraph, I need to:

• re-state my thesis (using new words)
• re-acknowledge the other side (using new words)
• briefly summarize how my examples supported my thesis (using new words)

Heres my paragraph:

(1) While the author does present the beginnings of a case for turning the free lunch program into a permanent benefit, there are some flaws in the argument that weaken the authors position. (2) As we saw in our first example, the author has not provided evidence to establish that the free lunch was the primary factor in the observed increase in average number of hours worked, nor has the author established that the productivity levels themselves changed. (3) Further, while the author did present some evidence to demonstrate that the average number of work hours increased at one point in time, the author fails to demonstrate that this data still applies to the present-day situation; its possible that those gains have eroded. (4) Certainly, theres more to explore here, and the author may be correct in indicating that the free lunch program resulted in the benefits claimed; the author just needs to provide some additional evidence to establish his claims.

Sentence 1 re-acknowledges the other side and re-states my thesis. Sentence 2 summarizes the first example. Sentence 3 summarizes the second example. Sentence 4 summarizes the entire situation (and is not that different, conceptually, from sentence 1 in this paragraph).

Key Takeaways for Analyze the Argument essays:

1. Know your template before you go in (see the previous article linked at the top for more discussion on templates).
2. Brainstorm a few examples; then choose the best two that are not too closely related.
3. Make your points as clearly and concisely as you can. Writing more doesnt do much; writing better does. Make sure that your sentences are cleanly structured and that your overall organization flows well; basically, make it easy for the reader to understand the points youre trying to make.
4. Watch out for spelling errors, typos, and so on. Know whether you like to check your work paragraph by paragraph (in which case you dont need to leave a lot of time at the end for a final review) or whether you like to review everything at once at the end (in which case you do need to leave about 5 minutes for a final review).