Is my essay good enough to score a 4?

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Is my essay good enough to score a 4?

by maxwello » Fri Oct 16, 2015 2:53 am
Hey Guys,

in 14 days I will take the GMAT for the first time and I just wanted to ask if you think that my first essay would be good enough to score a 4. (required minimum score of the university I'm applying to)

ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in an article in a consumer-electronics magazine:

"Company X's latest model of digital camera to be released next month, the TR12, is being promoted as the most portable, user-friendly digital camera available, and also an excellent bargain. It can be expected to live up to these claims, because Company X's previous model, the TR11, was universally lauded as setting the standard in these areas last year."

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. Point out flaws in the argument's logic and analyze the argument's underlying assumptions. In addition, evaluate how supporting evidence is used and what evidence might counter the argument's conclusion. You may also discuss what additional evidence could be used to strengthen the argument or what changes would make the argument more logically sound.





YOUR RESPONSE:
In this part of an article above the author writes about the latest model of digital camera, the TR12, which will be released by Company X next month. Because this model is promoted as the most portable and userfriendly camera available at a very competetive price point, the author assumes that this camera will live up to this claims, as the prevoius model, the TR 11 was lauded as setting the benchmark in this areas last year. However, this argument is seriously flawed, as the author does not provide any kind of real evidence that this camera is better in any way than the competition. He assumes that the camera will be successfull just because its predecessor was. Furthermore, the author uses vague language as he metions that it only "can be expected to live up to these claims".

Firstly, just because the new model is promoted as the most portable, user-friendly digital camera at a very good price it doesn't mean that this really will be the case. Their is no real evidence presented that would allow the author to take this claimes for real.

Secondly, the author strenghtens the fact that the new model will be succesfull, by the weak premise that it is the new version of the TR11 model which was very successfull and set the benchmark in its area. But to assume that the camera will follow the the path of its predecessor is not enough to provide real evidence. It could be the case that this year the competeting companies released better cameras and therefore challenge the TR12 model on a higher level than in the previous year.

Thirdly, the author writes that the camera "can be expected to live up to the claims" which is very vague language. The author sounds very uncertain about this claim, which weakens the argument tremendously.

In conclusion, the argument above is very weak as it fails to provide real evidence, the author uses weak premises to support its conclusiion and weak language is used to do so. The author could strenghten his argument by providing real evidence that the camera will be better than its competition and by using strong language to strenghten his conclusion.

many thanks,
Max