GMAT Essays (AWA)

Hi all,

Could you please give me some tips on the essay. To make it more real I limited myself to 30 minutes, so this is the result. Do you think this is a good tactic?

The main argument is costs dropped for the film industry with time so the company, which is in the food processing industry, will see its costs drop because it is celebrating its 25 anniversary. For this reason, its profits will increase.

Its the first topic in the OG13 (should I looked for them in the internet to paste them here?)

Best,
joe


The following argument is flawed for the following reasons. Primarily, the argument is based on the flawed assumption that the company's experience will enable it to reduce costs as it happened with the film industry, rendering the conclusion that its profits will increase, ivalid.

The argument states that what held true for the film processing industry is comparable to what will happen to the food processing industry. To start, this is not necessarily true as it fails to account for several factors. For example, the costs in the film industry could have decreased due to the advances in technology rather than experience. Furthemore, if the lower costs are driven by advancements in technology rather than experience this could threaten Olympic Foods business if the compnay fails to adopt the new technology and relies solely on their experience to lower costs. For example, despite the film industry prices become more competitive with time, in the end, the industry was obliterated by the rise of digital media.

The argument also claims that minimizing costs will drive profits higher which is not always true. If the company does business in a competitive market, lower costs will lead to lower prices, hence profit will not increase. In this case, if the company provided information on why it is going to be able to maintain prices high even if their costs fall will help to strenghten the argument.

Because the argument made several unwarranted assumptions and fail to provide information on why it should be able to capitlize on their experience to maximize profits it is flawed.

Thank you very much! This is really helpful.

BTW, I tried to argue that the industries are different. I am going it to re read it carefully because, evidently, my point wasn't clear. I think it was so obvious that argument that I didn't want to focus too much on it...

Wow, 5 paragraphs... I was following Magoosh guidelines, thats why I kept it short (plus, I ran out of time). I guess as I get more comfortable with this kind of writing I will be able to articulate my thoughts faster.

Again, thanks.
joe