GMAT Essays (AWA)

The following appeared in an editorial from a magazine produced by an organization dedicated to environmental protection:
"In order to effectively reduce the amount of environmental damage that industrial manufacturing plants cause, those who manage the plants must be aware of the specific amount and types of damage caused by each of their various manufacturing processes. However, few corporations have enough financial incentive to monitor this information. In order to guarantee that corporations reduce the damage caused by their plants, the federal government should require every corporation to produce detailed annual reports on the environmental impact of their manufacturing process, and the government should impose stiff financial penalties for failure to produce these reports." Discuss how well reasoned . . .etc.

This argument relies on unverified assumptions and has a very extreme conclusion. Author fails to make logical connection between the evidences cited and the conclusion that the detailed annual reports will reduce the amount of environmental damage that industrial manufacturing plants cause.

Flaw 1

Apparently, author assumes that the awareness of the amount of damage and types of damage caused by various manufacturing process will alleviate the environmental damage. Author, however, does not provide any detail to substantiate that sheer monitoring will handle the problem. Author is, therefore, required to furnish details to close the apparent gap in the logic.

Flaw 2

How will the federal government ensure that the report furnished by the corporations is accurate? It is possible that if a corporation is releasing large amount of harmful chemicals in the environment, it will not provide accurate data in order to evade further recommendation, which might surface, from the government.

Flaw 3

Author mentions that a few corporations have financial incentive to monitor the process. Having that said, are the corporations not making use of the incentive? If the answer is no, then will the stiff financial penalties workout in the intended way? It is possible that the corporations enjoy larger profit with the contemporary process and the profit supersedes all other incentives and penalties.

Recommendation

To buttress the argument, the author is required to consider aforementioned factors to make the argument more logical and meaningful.

Summary,

In summary, this is a speculation in which author has unduly assumed a lot of unsubstantiated evidence. Had the author taken above mentioned points in to consideration, the argument would have been rendered incontrovertible. But whatever is presented here indeed fails to provide holistic picture to the superfluous claim being made.