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AWA Template from Economist GMAT Prep

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girlica Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
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AWA Template from Economist GMAT Prep

Post Wed Apr 06, 2016 9:51 pm
Hi everyone, I just finished my Economist GMAT Prep and was wondering if any experts could review my essay and post their opinion. I would gladly share template recommended by Economist if anyone needs one

Essay question
"Two years ago Nova High School began to use interactive computer instruction in three academic subjects. The school dropout rate declined immediately, and last year's graduates have reported some impressive achievements in college. In future budgets the school board should use a greater portion of the available funds to buy more computers, and all schools in the district should adopt interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum." Discuss how well reasoned ... etc.
In the passage, the writer argues that all district schools should use interactive computer instruction throughout the curriculum. This is based on the premises that the Nova High School reported positive results from adopting the interactive computer instruction in academic subjects. However, on deeper analysis, it becomes apparent that certain relevant aspects have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the assumption that the only reason dropout rate’s decline two years ago was that the Nova High School adopted new computer instruction. However, there may be other reasons why dropout rate declined, such as the implementation of new school program preventing school dropouts or improvement of standards in teaching and infrastructure, which helped the school to retain more students and hence the dropout rate declined. In order to strengthen the argument, more factual information on the reasons why the dropout rate decline is needed, reasons which support the claim that interactive computer innovation was the main reason for such dropout decline.
Moreover, the writer's argument is incorrectly based on the assumption that the last year’s impressive achievements were also reached due to adoption of computer instruction. However, no information is provided regarding the fields of these achievements and how those achievements are correlated with interactive computer instruction. For instance, the students could have excelled in fields of sports or other activities such as debate, extempore or quizzing. Interactive computer instruction doesn’t necessarily play any role in these subjects, thus more information is required to demonstrate the correlation between students achievements and a new computer program. To overcome this flaw, the argument should contain more factual information about students achievements in particular subjects, perhaps by providing examples of achievements and their connection with interactive computer program.
The writer also wrongly assumes and overgeneralizes that what worked for one school will work for all schools in the district. There is not enough information to state that all district schools will also get positive results from adopting new interactive computer instruction. It is possible, for example, that some schools might get improvements, some schools might not. To render this argument more valid, the writer should demonstrate the reason that all schools might get positive results from adopting computer instruction, like Nova High School did.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several logical flaws. The recommendations in the essay show how the argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.

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girlica Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
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Post Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:15 am
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girlica Newbie | Next Rank: 10 Posts Default Avatar
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Post Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:14 am
See attachments and good luck
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